Adversity is Inevitable; Misery is Optional

We have all heard stories about people who survive and bounce back from misfortune.  They know how to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start over again. Some of these stories are about famous people and some about the not-so-famous.  Some are about dramatic events and some about relatively common situations such as job loss, broken relationships, etc.  How come some people bounce back from adversity and others don’t?  The personality trait of resilience is a major factor in determining whether people recover and thrive or not.

What is Different About Resilient People?

Some people are crushed by misfortune – even remain a “victim” the rest of their lives.  Others recover from hardship – even stronger than before.  Highly resilient people think and behave differently than others.  Research indicates:

    •  They are optimistic and have faith in the future.  They think of difficult times as

          temporary times from which they will recover.

    •  They accept the idea that bad things can happen and don’t insist that the world

          must be fair.

    •  When disaster strikes, they identify their feelings, face the pain of loss, grieve,

          and move on.

    •  They recognize their strengths, believe in themselves and in their ability to be

          successful.

    •  Challenge and change are considered part of normal life by resilient individuals.

          They focus on what they can learn from the past and remain flexible about the

          future.

    •  They know what they can and can’t control or influence.  They focus on what

          they can change and let go of the rest.

    •  Where “victims” of misfortune wait to be rescued, the resilient take control,

          formulate a plan, and act.

    •  They look forward to find the possibilities in their new situation and are willing

          to take reasonable risks to create a new future.

What Can You Do To Maximize Your Resilience?

The capacity to respond to adversity in a resilient manner appears to have a genetic basis.  Some people just seem to be born with more of it.  But, everyone has some level of resilience.  All of us have experienced set-backs and managed to get ourselves back on track.  Everyone can increase his or her resilience.  Maximizing your resilience will bring you greater pleasure and more success in life.  Here are some suggestions:

    •  Think about the times when your resilience was at it’s best.  How were you

          responding to the situation.  What did you do or think that got you back

          on your feet sooner than might otherwise have been true.

    •  Analyze your belief patterns.  Is your glass half empty or half full?  Reprogram

          your thinking to focus on what you have going for yourself and what the

          possibilities are.

    •  Identify the most resilient people you know. Notice how they handle difficulties and

          challenges. Learn from them.

    •  Replace ruminating about your misfortune with problem solving. Focus on

          what you can do to create the best possible future.

    •  Know your talents and your strengths.  When hard times come, use them.

    •  Within your network, develop people who will be your circle of support during

          difficult times.

    •  Keep yourself in good shape.  Basic well-being will buffer the impact of

          adversity.

Adversity is inevitable in your life.  Misery is optional.  Maximize your resilience.